An erection is often seen as the centerpiece of male sexuality. Yet many men—whether experiencing occasional erectile difficulties or simply going through a period of low energy—can still give and receive pleasure without an erection. Here are five ways to enjoy fulfilling sex, free from the pressure of performance.
1. Explore Non-Penetrative Positions: The Florentine Method
Inspired by an age-old practice, the Florentine involves rubbing genitals together without penetration. The man lies on his back, completely flaccid or semi-erect, while his partner straddles him and stimulates the area by rubbing her clitoris against his penis. This sensual position allows pleasure to build gradually, especially when using lubricant. It’s a gentle, creative form of intimacy accessible to all.
2. Remember: A Man Is More Than Just His Penis
Men can—and should—use their entire bodies to give pleasure. Hands, mouth, voice, eye contact, and creativity are all powerful tools. The absence of an erection shouldn’t feel like a punishment, but rather an opportunity to explore new types of sensuality: caresses, kisses, massages, erotic toys… Sexual pleasure is not limited to penetration. It can be deep and fulfilling, even without penile rigidity.
3. Make Space for Your Own Pleasure
Many men focus solely on their partner’s satisfaction. Yet shared pleasure often creates the strongest experiences. Letting go, discovering new erogenous zones, enjoying being touched—these all contribute to a richer, more balanced sex life. In fact, paradoxically, this sense of relaxation can sometimes lead to a spontaneous return of an erection, as pleasure naturally sparks arousal.
4. Learn to “Enter” and “Exit” Freely
An erection doesn’t have to lead automatically to penetration. Similarly, if an erection fades during sex, that doesn’t mean the experience is over. One can withdraw gently, return to other erotic activities, and resume penetration later if the mood and body allow. The key is to normalize these fluctuations and weave them into a more fluid, less linear sexual experience.
5. Engage Both Body and Mind
Pleasure is both physical and mental. When one aspect is lacking (a distracted mind or a tired body, for example), the other can take over. Physical stimulation (penis, testicles, perineum, whole body) or mental focus on desire, imagination, or emotional connection—all these elements can reignite arousal and deepen the bond between partners.
A Freer, Richer Sexuality
Ultimately, the absence of an erection doesn’t mean the absence of sex. It’s entirely possible—and even encouraged—to reinvent habits, expand the range of pleasures, and savor every moment of intimacy without performance anxiety.
And if difficulties persist, there’s no need to suffer in silence. Support is available. Speaking to a specialist—either in person or online through platforms like charles.co—can help restore confidence and peace of mind.
Because at its core, pleasure is never selfish—it’s a gift to be shared.